dark rantings

i often write to let off steam when i am angry or hurting; it helps to keep me from doing stupid things i used to do. these writings may be dark and vengeful, as they were written during such moments. 

the dream
my life seemed so happy. everything was swell.
i didn't realize how much i really was in hell.
but then the dream came and took it all away.
i'm stuck thinking how life would be different today
if he hadn't broke my heart, if i'd never seen your smile.
the pain i feel won't go away for a very long while.
the things before come back to me as now i wish for him.
but then i see you waiting and feel guilty for this sin.
all i wanted was to hear you say you'd love me til the end
and you'd fight him to the death for me, again and again.
no words from you is what i got, you went to bed to sleep.
now in the morning i'll be gone; and you won't even weep.
goodbye cruel world, i bid adieu to this strange family.
i'm no longer your problem. this ends the curse of me.

 lies

at a loss for words, don't know what to say
i didn't think things would end this way
you told me i mattered, you told me you cared
and now i just sit at the window and stare
you stole and broke my heart
you're tearing me apart
i'm losing my mind
i'm done with you're lies

just leave me alone
don't mess with me anymore
you're out in the cold
i've kicked you out the door....